Have you ever asked yourself why you are in a relationship at any particular time or what exactly you are getting from it? Why do ‘I’ want to get married? This is one question that many fail to ask themselves or don’t have an answer to.
Like I always say, you are first an individual and before you can ask yourself or set out the purpose for your relationship, you have to first find your own purpose in life as a person. Whatever reality you create in your relationship stems out from who you are within.
Women have been configured by society to think that their proper place is in a man’s kitchen. They are made to cook, clean, make babies and take care of their men.
Men on the other hand have been taught to throw their weight around, carry an unhealthy ego, it is natural for men to cheat they say, you always have to show a woman you are the head.
You have to break through this barrier of society telling you who you should be and find out who you really want to be and what you want for yourself. Some men are so attuned to the ways of the ‘society made woman’ above that their wives must fulfill all the above duties and nothing more. And some women have come to believe if her man cheats or hits her, it is normal.
Some women get married out of fear, insecurities, lack, just needing a man, because the world says they should, their friends are getting married, they are getting old, they have bagged one fine rich guy that must not slip through their fingers, they are head over heels in love etc. I do not see purpose in any of these or should I say there is but the wrong ones.
The baseline purpose to any relationship should be to help you grow and make you a better person in every aspect of your life you consider important, from spiritual to material to your emotional health even in learning and wisdom. You should complement each others purpose and help your partner achieve all they have set out to be.
But there are other particular things that each individual wants from a relationship and this sets the expectations of the relationship. Know what you want from your partner and tell them. Tell them your needs, wants and desires for entering the relationship. Each of you should work at giving more than receiving. When you are both giving to each other then you are both receiving. After voicing your individual expectations, set expectations that both of you can achieve together. In line with meeting your individual needs, find a common ground where both of you can set a standard for the relationship and how you would achieve them.
Are you sad, bitter, and angry in your relationship when all you wanted was Love and friendship? Are you sitting down at home cooking without joy when you have always seen yourself making a difference in the coperate world? Let your relaltionship help you achieve all that God called you to be or all you have set out to achieve. Oh, you can be a full housewife if thats what you choose, then you would do it to your best, find ways to be productive with youself while doing it and be happy. Review the person you are marrying or entering a relationship with and ask yourself if they can give you what you want and if you can also meet their expectations.
Conclusion: Don’t just get married or go into a relationship because you think you should or because everyone is. Ask yourself if you are ready and equipped enough. Ask yourself why exactly you want to go into it and what you expect from it. When you know what exactly you want, you won’t just settle for what you get.